Rough Bedtime

To say this evening has been rough is an understatement. We're going on minute 20 of CIO and it's not going well. I have to say I feel some serious guilt here, mostly for the fact that Miss Gracie didn't get her normal bedtime routine tonight. Typically we do about 30-45 minutes of free time (naked) and then go with a nice warm bath..not to hot but definately on the warmer side. In the beginning I didn't do a bath every night but I found that a bath works wonders when putting Miss Gracie to bed.

So like I said no routine tonight..things got a miss when she decided to do some on and off cat napping starting at around 7:30. She woke up in between and her last one ended at around 9:00. Typically we start free time (naked) at 8:30 then follow with a bath and bottle but she was fussing hard when she woke and I knew she was famished so while I prepared her bottle she struggled to keep her eyes open. I made the call then to go ahead and just give her face and hands a clean up and change her into her jams... skipping free time and bath time altogether. I expected she wouldn't even get thru her bottle. I finally laid her down at 9:39 (yes I know the exact time) and she was ok for about 5 minutes but then began fussing on and off...which turned into crying...and more crying..ok just went in to check on her. It had been 30 minutes. I was unsure on the quality of burp I got from her before ...so I decided to pick her up and I got one doozy of a belch after just a few pats. It always seems to upset her more when I go in even when I don't pick her up. I am just sitting her listening to her on the Angel Care Monitor. She's slowing down..I hope she sleeps soon.

I dread bedtime at our house. I often wonder why my baby can't be one that sleeps peacefully. She never has and when I think something works she noramlly throw a wrench in my happy dance and switches things up. I feel so bad tonight..maybe if I had just did the bath..even though it was going to put her to bed later she wouldn't be crying now. She's down to a few whimpers here and there now thank God.

I get a lot of critisism for my bedtime beliefs. I don't go by any one plan. It's a whole lot of hodge podge I pretend to be a plan but it is really the only thing that works for us. I feel lucky at times that she isn't a child who used to sleep thru the night..or long stretches... who has suddenly changed. Our bedtime here is just improving but when you go from virtually no sleep to some it's an improvement. It's quiet now, she put herself to sleep.

It's time for my good cry now. I always cry after she's calm because I feel terrible for her crying. I had gotten her down to only about 12 minutes of fussing with a few outbreaks of tears before sticking her thumby in her mouth but now without the bath it was 36 minutes..oh the guilt.