Weekend Plans

OK so I finally broke down and bought a camera. I am hoping to have it by the weekend since we have some big plans. Saturday is Gram pa Garber's birthday and we're hoping to celebrate that with dinner out and a nice Kroger b-day cake. Yummy! Just what my waistline doesn't need lol. Sunday we have the traditional Memorial Day BBQ at my parents house. I wish it was a tad warmer as I am just itching to get Miss Gracie in the water. The pond is most likely not going to be warm enough for swimming. Monday we are trying to plan an outing to the Fort Wayne Children's Zoo. It has been years since I have been there and I am hoping Miss Gracie will enjoy seeing some of the things there. We are not decided yet on this outing but hoping to attend. I hope to get to spend some quality time with my hubs as it seems like life's been very stressful for us and it will do us all some good to just relax, distress, and unwind. I want my camera to catch all these amazing events. I feel lost without it and it's only been a couple of weeks.

Miss Gracie is still having sleep issues. Gone is the short but wonderful predictability of a seven to eight o'clock bedtime. She is up all hours different days and hates her crib again. I literally want to pull my hair out. John's great about allowing her to sleep in the bed during the day when he's trying t get his rest for work, working nights and all and I lay down with her. I think this may be confusing her as I expect her to sleep in her crib at night. I feel bad because she won't nap unless you lay down with her. It's all so frustrating but I pray every night for patience. I love her so much but never in a million year imagined that being a mom would be so hard. We've had such issues with the MSPI and sleep. I find myself just wanting to cry sometimes. I just keep praying it gets easier. We go through spells where I think I can do this many more times and then I find myself in tears thinking there is no way I can have another baby. It's a challenge but it's made me a better person. I wish I coudl be perfect all the time for her but have learned that I'm just human and I'm goig to have times where I am inpatient and sad.I think accepting that is half the battle.