Not What I Expected Coming Home to Sunday Morning

Ok so anyone who knows me knows I have a very old house..over 100 years old in fact and that it needs some work and that the hubs wells he's not exactly a handy man.We've made it nice in many areas so far but it's a work in progress..with an old home you are bound to have some issues and boy we got a dousy! Over the last several years we've had a squirrel make its home inside ours somewhere in the wall and have babies. Hubs doesn't do well with this..but the first time we discovered what was happening I decided I was going to get a live trap and take care of it before the damn thing ate a wire and caught our house on fire. I was TERRIFIED of course but so was he lol. He's not so into wild animals and tends to procrastinate so I took matters into my own hands. Each time this has happened I have caught the baby squirrels but I have never captured the mother. Well one year none came in and then again this year one did..we must have some sort of hole or something where they are entering but we can't find it so all we can do is try and catch them. This year for some reason the squirrel came in very early and I tried over and over to catch it but it kept getting the bait out of the trap without actually setting the trap off. I was getting frustrated especially with Miss Gracie arrival now because it is disgusting to me that this thing is in the wall and drop ceilings at times.

Funny thing happened the other night. Sophie the giraffe arrived and we were sitting in the den and I started to squeak it and I heard the squirrel who I call Rocky lol..above running about but it sounded as if there were more than one. I assumed she had her babies and these are always relatively easy to capture. I got the Cage down Saturday and baited it up again..my previous bait was gone..probably taken by momma. I thought I'd have a baby by Saturday night but I kept hearing action in the ceiling by the trap but nothing.

Yesterday upon arriving home after church and breakfast I came home to find the shield missing from the light area in our restroom and this

Needless to say the hubs was not happy.My mind raced..was it in the house..were we about to relive the movie Christmas Vacation lmao????? Just then I glanced into the other room and saw this nasty site


I was not happy about this disgusting thing on my carpet..ewww..but happy that he was eliminated because of my hero

The momma has left and the babies are behind. I know I hear at least one and so now I am totally freaked out. I have never had one fall thru one of the light shields..I am so thankful we weren't home and so thankful that Payton is on the ball around here. I think when I placed the trap in the ceiling I may not have had the shield in correctly the little squirrel walked on it and bam fell thru..utterly disgusting but one down and hopefully only one more to go...RIP Rocky I.

Happy Birthday Gracie!

Ok so it's only the 5 month mark but still worth acknowledging right? I look at my little girl and my has she grown. I can't believe we've gone from this....




To this .....what a wonderful little lady.



I'd be lying if I didn't say it was hard. I have to say being a mother is the absoloute hardest thing I have ever done in my life. You have these preconceived ideas, but when you have these ideas, prior to giving birth you really have no idea what it really will be like, and sadly you are really misinformed. I used to look at people with their children and critisize them in my mind, and I have to admit at times I have judged other mothers for their ways and styles of parenting, those days are OVER. I was ignorant to how hard it is..and very wrong. As hard as things have been for little Gracie and I, I believe that we've gotten thru it together. I also think it's been the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I wouldn't change anything that has happened as it's made me grow and made Gracie and I closer. Things that have happened have brought us where we are today and that is amazing.

I feel like there is a lot of frustration in my life right now..but Gracie is a true blessing and no matter what happens she'll be here sharing life with me.

Today I want to say I am so happy to have my little girl and happy birthday little Miss Gracie!

I'm going to chalk this week up as a wash.. a really rough one. Nothing really has improved this week with Miss Gracie's sleep, she's spitting up more than normal, and I feel teething is right around the next corner.

Yesterday by far had to be the worst day. She woke up at the crack of dawn literally. I actually took her outside and showed her the sun peaking over the horizon. She seems to love checking out the trees and the sunshine..needless to say it was far to early for mommy's taste but you know I don't make those decisions anymore. I had stayed up far too late Thursday night and felt guilty that I was reallyyyyyy looking forward to her first nap so I could maybe get a little rest.
Miss Gracies been napping pretty well lately, in fact I thought we were getting much better with the sleeping patterns she has but yesterday she threw one big Monkey wrench into it all.

She started out a tad tired from waking up only 6 hours after going down the night before but I thought hey she'll nap early well she did show signs of being tired about an hour and a half later. I decided I'd try to take her to bed with me..I'd told John to prepare our "area" of the bed when he went to bed Thursday morning so I knew we'd have plenty of room and that the dividing pillow between us would also be in place. At this point I am happy cause my eyes are burning and i just feel blah, well she wouldn't go down in fact after trying to take her up she decided she'd skip that nap altogether. She was up till noon and showing signs of being tired the whole time..she pretty much was laying in her PNP playing but not sleeping. I'd see her eyes begin to close and then they'd fly open and she's start kicking her legs all over her PNP to fight her sleep. Finally at 12 I decided to try and take her back up to my bed. She went down and I tried to nap but she was restless, moving her head from side to side, thumby in and out of her mouth. She didn't rest well. When we got up she was up for several hours again before she melted down and I was forced to do a nap in the swing with about 10 minutes of fussing prior to her falling asleep. That wasn't so great either so we proceeded to try for an earlier bedtime with more free time before bath time.

Apparantly I could do nothing right yesterday as she fussed about 20 minutes into her free time even though it's usually her favortite part of the day. When I put her in the bath she screamed and acted like the water was too hot. I always double check and even to my wrist it felt ok but it did make her little legs red so maybe it was too warm. I felt guilt about that all night. She was restless in the tub so it was short and matter to fact, she had a bottle and headed to bed which turned into about an hour or on and off crying and hollering with me checking on her repeatedly. She finally fell asleep about 10:30. At 5 am we had storms roll through our area and she woke up..I didn't grab her out of bed and it wasn't the last time this morning I'd hear my little angel chattering in there.

She has only been up about an hour so far today and she seems happy but we'll see how the naps go..they are the key to a good day and a great night. Most people I talk to think if you don't let your kid sleep during the day they will sleep better at night and this is oh so not true.

Today I am exhausted as I stayed up far too late again and was woke by an earlier line of storms than Miss Gracie this morning. I have a too do list a mile long and no energy, I find myself looking forward to nap time again but don't want to get my hopes up. I prayed last night to be more patient and more open to the things that are thrown to me each day but it can be quite a challenge. I am hoping for a good end to a not so wonderful week in the Garber household.

Rough Bedtime

To say this evening has been rough is an understatement. We're going on minute 20 of CIO and it's not going well. I have to say I feel some serious guilt here, mostly for the fact that Miss Gracie didn't get her normal bedtime routine tonight. Typically we do about 30-45 minutes of free time (naked) and then go with a nice warm bath..not to hot but definately on the warmer side. In the beginning I didn't do a bath every night but I found that a bath works wonders when putting Miss Gracie to bed.

So like I said no routine tonight..things got a miss when she decided to do some on and off cat napping starting at around 7:30. She woke up in between and her last one ended at around 9:00. Typically we start free time (naked) at 8:30 then follow with a bath and bottle but she was fussing hard when she woke and I knew she was famished so while I prepared her bottle she struggled to keep her eyes open. I made the call then to go ahead and just give her face and hands a clean up and change her into her jams... skipping free time and bath time altogether. I expected she wouldn't even get thru her bottle. I finally laid her down at 9:39 (yes I know the exact time) and she was ok for about 5 minutes but then began fussing on and off...which turned into crying...and more crying..ok just went in to check on her. It had been 30 minutes. I was unsure on the quality of burp I got from her before ...so I decided to pick her up and I got one doozy of a belch after just a few pats. It always seems to upset her more when I go in even when I don't pick her up. I am just sitting her listening to her on the Angel Care Monitor. She's slowing down..I hope she sleeps soon.

I dread bedtime at our house. I often wonder why my baby can't be one that sleeps peacefully. She never has and when I think something works she noramlly throw a wrench in my happy dance and switches things up. I feel so bad tonight..maybe if I had just did the bath..even though it was going to put her to bed later she wouldn't be crying now. She's down to a few whimpers here and there now thank God.

I get a lot of critisism for my bedtime beliefs. I don't go by any one plan. It's a whole lot of hodge podge I pretend to be a plan but it is really the only thing that works for us. I feel lucky at times that she isn't a child who used to sleep thru the night..or long stretches... who has suddenly changed. Our bedtime here is just improving but when you go from virtually no sleep to some it's an improvement. It's quiet now, she put herself to sleep.

It's time for my good cry now. I always cry after she's calm because I feel terrible for her crying. I had gotten her down to only about 12 minutes of fussing with a few outbreaks of tears before sticking her thumby in her mouth but now without the bath it was 36 minutes..oh the guilt.

Might be important to include this

I was rereading the blog I originally started back when I was pregnant but then locked myself out of lol. I thought I should paste on here what I had there so that I can remember. I can't help but take in a deep breath and thank God for all that he has blessed me with..considering the fear in my heart only a year ago. I should really learn to trust more..I'm working on it.

http://garbersgreatexpectation.blogspot.com/

Ok so I don't what happened today but it sure wasn't one of our better days.

Last night Gracie went down like a champ..I know that has never happened. I went to bed fairly early as well..by 10:30. I slept like a rock and woke up at 2:30 thinking it must be morning. I ended up getting up folding clothes, cleaning up the kitchen, and checking my FB. John came home shortly after..I know SHOCKER since he's been working 16 and 17 hour days here lately. I decided to wake Gracie to change her diaper and feed her since she hadn't ate or been changed since around 8. We're still battling the diaper rash..and yes I know not to wake a sleeping baby. Well it took until about 6 to get her back down and I went to bed with the hubs.

Needless to say Payton woke me at 9 to go out and sure enough when I got back upstairs little gracie was playing with her feet babbling away..it was at this point I felt so tired I wanted to cry. This is not the least amount of rest I have ever gotten by any means. Looking back on the first 3 months of her life and bfing and the Milk Protein Intolerance this is a cake walk so why did it bother me so much?? i got her up and took care of what needed to be taken care of and just sat with her trying to rest but she was really energetic today in fact I feel bad we didn't play harder. I wish I had done a lot more with her today but all in all we still had fun. She isn't feeling too great the past couple of days. She did get Sophie in the mail today and loves it. I will have to get a pic posted of her and the silly thing.

Bedtime tonight was a nightmare but she's down and I should be too because you just never know what she has in store for me tomorrow.

I may get stressed out but you know what I have the best job in the world..I may have to change diapers, get spit up on, have sleep deprivation, and deal with a screamer at times but who else gets to be a kid again, lay on the floor and talk baby talk, make up silly songs, pinch chunks on your baby to make them laugh, and just be a kid again. I have to remind myself on these tired days just how lucky I am.

Thanks for working so hard John so that I can stay home with our beautiful daughter.
Love you daddy!

Frustrated and I Guess I Don't Know Why

Ok it's been a while since I posted anything here not that anyone would notice...doesn't seem like my blog has snagged any followers of yet but hey it's a good place to let some things out so why not.

Ok I love my husband this is an understatement I ADORE my husband but today I ran across a post on BBC about the furstrations in a marriage after having a baby and a woman said hey let's name 10 reasons we love our hubs. Things can get hectic and crazy with a new baby and I'm still hormonal I guess even though it's been 5 months PP and so I am reading along other peoples lists and well I get pretty sad I guess cause I feel like a lot of the things that these women see in their hubbys I'm missing in mine and I don't feel like it's because of a new baby, in fact I feel like it's been this way a while and if I am honest with myself I'm really just not too happy about it.

What to do?